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September 3, 2013

how to: stay active in an LDR.

It should be old news by now that I hate being in a long distance relationship. It's not fun, exciting, or ideal. It's miserable. With that said, if you're in love with the person you're in this type of relationship with, which you probably are if you're putting yourself through it, then it's reality and you have to make it work somehow. R and I have figured out a few simple ways to keep our time apart as normal as it could possibly feel.1// couple. Couple is an app that let's you connect with your significant other. It comes up looking like a regular text messaging screen between the both of you, and allows you to not only message, but also add dates to a personal calendar, send pictures, create drawings separately or together, record a voice message, 'thumb kiss' (you place your thumb on the screen and your partner matches theirs with yours on their own screen), and tell the person you're thinking of them. It's a pretty cool app, we actually don't use it that often anymore so I'll have to get us reinvolved, but when we were active on it, it was kind of fun to use. We iMessage all the time, but this was a little more exciting.

2// skype and facetime dates. Even though R is five hours ahead, we still try to make time every couple days for facetime. Usually I'm at work when he can talk so he also gets some Max time, but it's nice to know that I'll be able to see his face for a little bit. We don't use skype much anymore, even though it got us through most of my college years, but skype is great if you don't have an iphone or if you want to plan a 'date' that won't tie up your phone. Sometimes we pick a movie to watch and we'll start it at the same time so we can talk and watch and feel like we're kind of in the same place. It's a nice little thing to do when we get the chance.

3// snail mail. Everyone loves a bit of snail mail whether it's your favorite magazine, a great fall catalogue, or a letter from a friend. My bookstore in college had the best 99 cent cards and I used to get a bunch of them at a time to send to R whenever I missed him too much or if there was a special occasion that we unfortunately would have to miss. I'm still looking for a good card store that isn't too expensive now that I'm back at home, but I love paper source cards and rifle paper co. ones (even though I can only get them at anthro around here). These next couple months of time apart we have decided to send more cards so that getting home from work to mail can be something to look forward to.

4// make plans for the next time you'll see each other. When R and I know that we're going to see each other, we always try to plan a few fun things to do, even if it's just watching an entire season of a show that we like on the couch. Earlier this year we went to Paris when I visited him, so planning that was a lot of fun and made everything about the waiting seem more worth it. It's exciting to see each other either way, but who doesn't love a vacation or spending twenty hours straight on the couch? Instead of filling the empty space with endless chit chat, talking about plans is much more fun.

5// tell each other everything. Even if you've done nothing all day, think of something to talk about. Frequent communication is so important in the days apart. When R and I haven't gotten a chance to talk in a day or two it makes me really upset and sometimes it's easy to take the frustration of that out on him in another way, and then a fight could start up over nothing. It sounds kind of silly, but it happens to us a lot so we can't be the only ones.

That's all I really have for now. There are so many things that you can do with time apart from your loved one, these are just some of the main ones that help me and Rich get through our weeks and months apart. If you are in an LDR, what do you do to stay in touch and keep things exciting until the next time you're together?

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