Dear leggings of my past, present, and future,
We've been together for a long time, and we've sure been through a lot. We've seen a lot of good men lost to holes in the crotch seam, and we've seen some newcomers steal the spotlight of the pairs before them (that's directed at you, leather leggings. Nobody likes a showoff). But no matter who comes and goes, I want you to know the intense passion I feel for each and every one of you and your luxurious elastic waistbands, and even long after you're gone I will still reminisce of the great times we had together.
To start, you know how to make me look thin on days when I feel four thousand pounds. I can pack on the layers up top, but no matter what, you silhouette my legs like a champ and keep them looking firm and lean. You keep everything tucked in where I want it tucked, and you flaunt my skinny ankles when I pair you with sneakers or moccs. Let's not even get into how thin my legs look with a tall, roomy boot thrown into the mix. But more than that, you provide me with hours and hours of long lasting comfort. You hold me in and swaddle me like a newborn baby.
On nights when we order in, you are the first pair of pants that I reach for. There's no enjoyment in a belly full of chinese food if your jeans are making an imprint on your stomach that you're going to frown at later. You leggings keep me comfortably fat on junk food night and most importantly, you never judge. You stretch with me as far as I need you to and you never ever tell me I look chubby. I adore you more than you could ever know for that.
When my friends want to go out and dance in the winter, you are the ones I turn to to keep my legs warm but my outfit lookin' cute. This is where you come in, printed leggings and leather leggings - you guys are sassy and you know it, and you stick by me even when I spend hours on the dance floor. What can I say, sometimes I can't quit - and neither do you guys. So thank you for the dances we've had, and the ones I know we will share in the future.
I am not even going to get into the way that I feel about you, yes, you, the classic black legging. The only pair of pants that I can wear seven days in a row (remember, judgement free zone here) without anyone really noticing. Sure, there may be the odd thought here or there from someone who I see every day, but really, I alternate the same three pairs and it just works for all of us. Hey, nobody ever gets crap for wearing the same pair of jeans everyday, do they? No.
You are all collectively the best pair of pants that I have ever owned and loved, and before anything else is said, I don't care what side of the argument anyone else is on - we all know that leggings are pants. You have to know how to work it, and some people just don't. Don't let their envy get you down. In this house, leggings are pants, and they are the best pants besides no pants.
I have enjoyed you all immensely since leggings came back into popular fashion in 2007 (and obviously back in the day when I was a lanky youngin' who couldn't find jeans long enough on the bottom but small enough on top), and I will continue to enjoy you for the rest of my life. And not only on junk food nights and at dance parties, but when my belly starts to grow with a little one and my jeans aren't even an option, and when I'm in full-on mom mode and jeans take way too long to pull up. I know you'll be there for me forever, and I will love you and adore you until the end of time. It's a love affair for the ages, they'll write novels about us.
Yours now + forevermore,