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August 1, 2014

currently: in a nutshell. (a large nutshell).

Life is interesting right now, and has been for all of July. And interesting isn't even the best word, but I'm going to try to break it all up in a cohesive way (more for my own sanity than anything else).

bitten by the travel bug. I started off July with the trip of a lifetime, and immediately upon returning, my travel high became more like a mini depression. I missed all of my new friends, many of which kept on traveling after our contiki, which made looking at any social media difficult. I also just missed the carefree lifestyle I had adopted for those two weeks. Hop on a bus, drive to a new country, see the most amazing sites, go out with my friends, sleep in hotels, wake up and do it all over. It was amazing, and something I hope to do again next summer, but until then, the loss of it is kind of making the rest of my life seem a little bit more dull than it maybe is in reality. Maybe.

childhood friends. I came home to my friends a bit divided. It's concerning because we're a group of six girls that have been friends for twenty years, and while two of us were away, the other four fell out. It wasn't something I was expecting to come back to, but even now it's still being dealt with. It's extremely overwhelming to see my friends upset with each other because we never fight as a group, let alone only a few of us. It's a weird situation that I hope gets resolved soon, because it definitely adds to the stress of everything else and makes all of us sad.

working three jobs and then some. I've been applying for online publication jobs for a couple of months now, and it's getting a bit discouraging to never get a response. I'm not going to stop trying though, as I know what I want to do in life now more than I ever have before, and that initself is keeping me going. On the Max front, he's loving life and in camp for six hours a day, so while he does that, I'm temping at an accountant firm for the cash I'm missing out on while he's off learning to swim and do gymnastics, making everyone proud. Though it's not the type of work I'm used to, or honestly, that I enjoy, it's definitely a nice change of pace for the next few weeks. But this means that less and less time is available for me to work for Chelsea Dogs, and even less time to be posting on this blog and working on the projects that keep it afloat. It's stressing me out, but hopefully over the next couple of weeks I'll be able to find some balance.

love story. I wasn't sure that I was going to share this here, but I've always been open and personal, so I need to continue to do what feels right for me. I find myself a single woman after six years, and while I'm not going to go into detail, it's a weird feeling. I've only skimmed the surface of the struggles of long distance relationships on this blog, I think partially because it's something that is so complicated and unique in every relationship that it is really hard to generalize what a LDR really feels like. But basically, long distance is not something to be taken lightly, and it's the type of thing that no matter how in love with someone you are, distance just crushes your dreams and makes you unhappy. Again, every relationship is unique and there are a lot that work out just fine in the end, it's just not the case for mine.

So that's my month of July and current status in most aspects of my life right now. It's been a very stressful and emotional time for me, but this blog makes me happy and keeps me busy, so I'm hoping to find the balance soon and be able to resume the parts of my life that make me feel joy and start worrying a little bit less about the parts that don't, especially the things that I can't control. It's only going to go up from here, and I'm excited about that.

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