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April 28, 2015

currently: april.

listening to Hallelujah on repeat.
moving into my new apartment little by little before the big move this weekend. 
feeling a piece of me missing since taking a break from the blog. 
adjusting to life at Popsugar and loving it.
missing my chickens so much it hurts.
reading American Sniper.
drinking tea, cup after cup.
trying not to invest my time in people who don't want to invest their time in me (but easier said than done, because I'm me).
snuggling my puppy extra hard before I move out and leave him.
getting a little sentimental about no longer living in my childhood home.
enjoying baseball season being back.
looking for a new show to binge watch.
re-watching Orange is the New Black with my friends in the meantime.
planning to get back to blogging full-time in a couple weeks. 

April 4, 2015

another end to the same era.

About six months ago, I wrote this post about the end of the era that was me as a nanny to the two most beautiful children in the world. And because Skylar was only three weeks old at the time, most of my emotion came from the end of #maxandalessia as I knew it. And then life happened. I went off to BuzzFeed for three months as an intern and had the most valuable education and experience I could ever ask for. And then when I thought my life was over and didn't get hired, the heavens aligned, Max's mom went back to work after her maternity leave, and the nanny they had for about two weeks just wasn't working out. It seemed like a step backward, but I knew that I needed a job while I was getting back on my feet, and Max and Sky needed me. So I went.

The last three months with them back in my life have been even better than the first time around, something I never imagined could be possible. Skylar is a bit older now, recognizes me, and stops crying for me (a huge point of pride). I know her every need and want before her bottom lip has a chance to quiver, and as for Max, well, we've always been besties who get each other, so as he gets older, time with him just gets better and better.

Even when I left the first time, I had always said, "these kids will continue to be in my life no matter what", and now that I'm leaving them for a second time, I have absolutely zero doubts in my mind that they will be a constant part of my life, just in a much different way. Once again, I'm dealing with the bittersweetness of it all: that I get to move on and take a job that I have been working so hard toward getting, which means leaving them behind to be with a new nanny, who whether I like it or not, will fall just as much in love with these kids as I have.

So these little chickens still have my heart, and always will, but things are going to be different. Our time together is so much more precious, something that absolutely cannot be taken for granted, and I know that Max will slowly begin to realize that as he starts noticing the changes without me there every day. The era has come to another end, likely the most permanent end, as I can't imagine I'll ever be their full-time nanny again, but they are part of the reason I got the new job that I did, and for that reason alone, I think that things are finally working out for me and the career I set out to build myself.

Everything happens for a reason has never rang more true for me than right now.

Side note: #maxandalessia and #alessiaandskylar will never cease to exist, so keep an eye out for nugget updates.

April 1, 2015


Freaking out over Breaking Bad. Just started it March 23, and have just seven episodes left! So. Damn. Good.
Beating myself up because I didn't read one page of a book in March. April will have to be better.
Getting excited to go to San Francisco next week to train for my new job.
Dealing with leaving my kiddos again. Last time I wrote this to help myself cope and process what was going on, this time around it's feeling much different.
Kissing Skylar so hard that she actually starts cracking up.
Planning on making these cookies soon.
Drinking so much Strongbow. Bought a case and never looked back.
Listening to this 00s Teen Angst playlist I made last week because it is the best playlist that has ever been created in the history of playlists.
Thinking of watching Friday Night Lights next on Netflix because I've heard three people talk about it in the last week and it's been on my list forever.
Laughing at this commercial so hard it hurts.
Waiting not-so-patiently for Spring to show its face.